PERFECT DARK BLOOPERZ
by BomberDude
Summary: Read the title, bloopers, I hope ya like it, please, r/r, don't flame part 3 is up
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I do not own Perfect Dark or any of it's characters, they are all Rareware's property. I wish they were mine….  
  
Note: I'll add some talking in parts of the game where you usually just play, like at Crash site, so please don't get angry at me! HELL! The Perfect Dark section needs more stories anyway! Oh, and my character is the Director. Hehe, HE'S MINE!! This was done before the game was released…not the fanfiction story, but that's when it takes place. K?  
  
P.S. This might contain itsy-bitsy pieces of spoilers! So read on if you dare…..  
  
PERFECT DARK BLOOPERZ  
  
  
(Cutscene after Air Force One)  
  
Joanna: Just shoot it!  
  
Elvis: Elvis: Uh-oh, Out of options Jo!  
(Elvis presses the button and the ship shoots and blows up AFO)  
  
Director: Cut! After out of options, the ship's not supposed to work dammit!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Scene at Crash site)  
  
Elvis: Joanna! Take this! It might come in useful!(gives her a proximity mine)  
(Later on, Joanna sees the President)  
  
Joanna: I'll just use the proximity mine Elvis gave me to kill the clone.  
(Joanna throws the proximity mine at the president blows up)  
  
Director: CUT!JOANNA! THAT WAS THE PRESIDENT! NOT HIS CLONE! YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!   
  
Joanna: Oh shit…I hope I keep my job for this…  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Cutscene "Elvis Wakes Up")  
  
Elvis:AH!AHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAHH AAAAAHHHHH…AH…  
(Elvis falls off the table thingy)  
  
Jonathan, on crack: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! YOU FELL YESS YOU DID!HAHA!  
  
Director:CUT! JONATHAN! I TOLD YOU TO STOP SMOKING ALL THAT CRACK! YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY! YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME ANGRY! I NEED THESE CUTSCENES DONE FAST SO WE CAN RELEASE THE DAMN GAME!  
  
Joanna: Now you're in trouble!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ok that's it for now. Ya like? Please don't flame or sue me for this! Review if it's good k? Chapter 2 will be up very soon with other different bloopers.  
  
- Bomberdude  



	2. 2nd Chapter duh

Disclaimer-….Wait there's people watching? Oh he It's me Bomberdude with more BLOOPERZ, oh and I gave you a disclaimer in Chapter 1!!!!  
  
  
Now on with the story……..  
  
PERFECT DARK BLOOPERZ( Part 2)  
  
( Scene at "Blonde's Revenge"  
  
Blonde: Come to the heliport, if you want to live..  
  
Cassandra: You won't shoot me, foolish child  
(Blonde gets angry and blows Cassandra in the head with a charged up Mauler)  
  
Director: CUT! BLONDE YOU FAG!  
(Blonde gets angry and takes off his disguise)   
  
Director: Oh yeah! Like I'm surprised you're a Skedar warrior.  
(Blonde takes out a Slayer and Detonates it in front of the Director, luckily the Director had a super Shield on)  
  
Director: OH SHIT! (runs)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Scene at Pelagic 2)  
  
Elvis: You go ahead Jo, I'll secure the perimeter.   
(Suddenly a N-Bomb falls out of Jo's pocket and detonates)  
  
Director: uh…Elvis? Jo?.. (whistles and walks away slowly)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Scene at Carrington Villa)  
  
(Sniper sees Joanna but then Joanna shoots a rocket at the Sniper and blasts him off the roof)  
  
Director: Cut! Joanna, you're not supposed to start off with a rocket launcher!  
  
Jo: But I found a Devastator in the crate over there!  
  
Director: Oooh yeah… I forgot… sorry…  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Scene at Skedar Ruins)  
  
Skedar Leader: hahaha! Die!(shoots a FBW Slayer into the sky, minutes later Elvis' ship comes down falling and destroys this holy planet, and yet there is still peace for the Maians side the fact Jo and Elvis died)  
  
Director: uh…..guys.. that…wasn't…supposed…to… happen? Oh man I gotta quit this Job.....  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ok, this is my last blooperz because I know this one sucked and I can't think of good ones anymore. Review anyway. K?  
-BomberDude  



	3. The third and last f**king chapter

Disclaimer: Yes, I don't this people except the Director. Rare does.  
  
Note: This is my third and LAST (for sure) blooperz. Enjoy!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Scene: Cetan Ship  
  
(They are in the part where they are talking to Dr. Carrol)  
  
Elvis: There's Dr Carrol! Let's see if we can reverse what was done to him!  
Joanna: How bout not? We don't need him! (get's out elvis' farsight)  
Elvis: What are you doing????  
Joanna: (blows up dr. carrol)  
  
The whole ship starts to blow up  
  
Joanna: Whoops!  
Director: You drunk whore! What the fuck are you doing?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Scene: Crash site:Confrontation   
(part where trent is talking to blonde)  
  
Blonde: You have failed Easton. We no longer need you.  
Trent: Okay, whatever you say B-Man! (walks off)  
  
Director: Oh my god, what the fuck? You're supposed to say "Just try me, you Scandinavian freak!  
  
Trent: First of all, Blonde is not even Scandinavian. We're trying to make it realistic aren't we? And second of all, I'm tired of you bossing us around! (starts to beat up and abuse the director)  
  
Blonde: Hahaha...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Scene: The Skedar's Ship Thingy  
Elvis: You go on ahead Jo, I'll secure the perimeter. We'll meet up later.  
Joanna: You're not securing ANYTHING! I'm sick and tired of a little fuckin alien hogging the role of the hero!!! (throws Elvis down on the floor. Starts to smash him with her foot. Sticks a Tranquilizer up his butt and lethal injections him. Then she kicks him away)  
Director: What the fuck do you think your doing? (has lot's of bandaids and medical stuff on him from trent) We need him!!! He is one of the most important characters!  
  
Joanna:Who cares about the little alien? I'll bet he's just a boy in a little suit. (Think's Elvis' head is a mask, she pulls and tugs, but she accidentally rips his head off) Oh. So maybe he is an alien.  
  
Director: Have you had sex?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ok that's it. Shorter than the other ones but this is my last BLOOPERZ. review please.  
  
-Bomberdude  
  



End file.
